No one prepares you for this stage of motherhood. They tend to forget to mention this part when telling you how great it is to have kids. One day you wake up to the exorcist living in your home. They don’t mention how if you even look in the direction of this new creature your soul might be burned by the death eyes of this new monster.
Right now, we have 5 of these creatures inhabiting our home and 1 who is right on the verge of crossing over to the dark side of her sweet innocence. Lord help us, but first, let me help you! Let’s call it the 5 ways to avoid jail while raising a teenager!
1. As much as you want to, you cannot punch them in the face!
I know this makes me sad too, but rules are rules and we don’t want to go to jail. More times then I would like to admit I have wanted to punch someone. Mostly because they are just like my Husband and me, sarcastic jerks. It makes me so mad because it’s like arguing with a younger version of you. So when the urge to cause bodily harm arises and it will just ask yourself this: If I go to jail, could I really survive a prison food diet and would that prison jumpsuit make me look sexy? If you the answers are no, then just take a deep breath and walk away or get drunk, whichever works for you.
2. You will NEVER, I repeat NEVER win an argument with a teenager.
Just don’t even bother trying. The safest move, say your point and get the hell out of dodge before the said mutant has a moment to speak. Once you open Pandora’s box and let them start talking you are treading into danger. It now becomes a health risk. Raised blood pressure, headaches and your ears start bleeding. Do yourself a favor and book ass out of there! Save yourself.
3. Let it go!
So you walked into their room and all of a sudden you’re thinking ” I need a hazmat suit stat!” Just let it go. Take a breath, not too deep to avoid the mold and sweat sock toxins, turn around and walk away. There, I just saved you from rules 1 and 2 in one shot. We all want the perfect home, rodent free and clean, but let’s be real it’s not happening. They will clean it on their own when they are tired of looking at it. Don’t bother wasting your breath and energy asking 700 million times. It will get done, I promise. For now, let it go!
4. Date night
Take an F-ing break and go on a date! For the most part, the kids should be able to keep themselves alive for 2 hours. Use it to your advantage. Date your spouse, unwind, reconnect. Soon it will be just the two of you and the kids will be out of the house. You might as well take this time to start to learn to focus on each other. Your sanity will thank me later. If you are a single parent one word: tinder! If you need some date ideas you can check out my other post with 20 date ideas.
5. Love them
Just love your kids. No matter what comes along it will work itself out. Don’t stress about everything and get mad over everything. Just love them. Sometimes, that’s the only thing they need. Tell them often even when you want to punch them.
Like it or not they are on the fast track to adulthood. It’s their job to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s what makes you an adult. Enjoy this crazy ride we call parenthood. Have fun, make memories and just breath.
Do you have any other tips to share to help us all survive these, oh so, hormonal years?